Commitment Diary 17/09/16
I had wings during weeks 1 and 2. The contract glistened in my mind- I was optimistic, engaged, motivated and brave. It wasn’t hard to whip up an exciting and healthy meal. I could blow raspberries at tasty but unhealthy demons such as free donuts in the staff room. My long term vision elevated my present into a state of patient perseverance. Now the contract ‘initiation glitter’ has faded away, I can sense myself being led by subconscious habit again. I feel like I’m a pageant horse which has returned from a glittery competition to perform drills back at the ranch. I want to let down my braided mane and follow my wild instinct now. The food manufacturing industry has managed to condition my wild instinct and I want to follow it to isle 5 (red rock deli chips). During weeks #1 + 2 I thought ‘mowing the weeds’ was getting rid of my bad habits. This week taught me that I need to deal with their roots, not just chop their heads off if I want to implement deep and lasting change. ‘Initiation glitter’ acted as my scissors; I’m going to need new tools to facilitate the long term eradication their roots. I believe EFT will help me shift my subconscious dependency on junk food for immediate gratification and instant salvation. Planning meals in advance will help me summon the energy required to make them since my task will be clear. There were a few occasions this week were I didn’t use my forebrain at all and ordered whaTEVER my tongue wanted. I call this the ‘rise of the wild pageant horse’. I didn’t consider healthier options, I just ordered. I can’t say I succeeded with my goal this week because I took the easy and tasty path more than once. I am motivated to try again- albeit better prepared- next week. |
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Commitment Diary 09/09/16
Old habits have been trying to resurface. I've craved unhealthy food with less inhibition and a little more frustration. There are no clear rules about what's acceptable so I've found myself trying to blur the lines. I should do something to correct this. Vagueness is a danger. At times it feels like I've been commanded to eat well by an outside force; I'm obeying but not in emotional agreement. Last week it was easier to ignore 'yummy' (unhealthy) opportunities when they arose. This week I've been feeling slightly more deprived. Uncomfortable but not overpowering! My success last week has made decision making and awareness of the healthy options clearer. Perhaps the honeymoon period is over and now i have to trudge through the land of withdrawal. Every meal satisfies.. It's just my fantastical idealism of unhealthy foods that's holding me back. I've found it's really important not to let myself get to hungry because my my frontal lobe goes to sleep. I need it awake and helping me approach this new situation carefully. I'm looking forward to seeing whether commitment gets easier or more challenging. Meanwhile, excuse me while I give my body what it wants. |
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