Relationships shouldn’t take a lot of work, but many couples fall into a bad habit of endless fighting.  Marriage is not simply a title; it is a life long commitment to your partner.  Don’t just live in a dull and monotonous day-to-day marriage….be ALIVE and enjoy your marriage. 

Here are 7 tips to building a healthy and strong marriage:

1. Emotional Safety: Many couples seek one another for comfort, yet they get painfully stabbed with attacks, criticism, judgment, or emotional neglect.  Keep the pain out of the marriage.  Help your partner understand that you are emotionally available, they can rely/depend on you, and that you are there to comfort them.
2. Effective Communication: Couples can’t resolve conflict without healthy communication.  Get educated on healthy communication, styles of communicating, and problem solving as a team.  Learn how to communicate your needs, desires, pains, and fears.
3. Reactive vs Interactive: Many couples get caught in the horrible pattern of “reacting” when in conflict, instead of interacting. Reacting is a single unit team, fighting against your partner.  Interacting is a team approach; it requires two people to have a game plan, move in an agreed upon direction, and fight the problem (not each other).  Slow down your reactions and begin to interact with your spouse. Start by listening, validating, and acknowledging one another. 
4. Care for your Partner: Most people know the “buttons” to push to make their spouse either upset or happy.  Start caring days and give your partner things they enjoy, want, or need.  Spend time going out of your way to care for your partner and express your love to them.  If your partner likes back scratches, take 10 minutes to give them a good back scratch.  If your partner enjoys poems, take 10 minutes out of your day to write a poem for them. 
5. Intimacy in the Bedroom: Sex is one of the rawest forms of connecting with your partner and should be a priority in your relationship.  Find ways to increase the intimacy and sexual contact to bond with your partner, without making it a “job.”  Have fun, be playful, and enjoy physically and emotionally connecting with your partner.   
6. Personal Satisfaction: If you aren’t happy as an individual, you won’t be able to be happy in your marriage.  Find ways to improve mood by improving your life style.  Begin making healthy choices in your life: exercise, eat more healthfully, decrease alcohol consumption, and do spring cleaning.  Don’t just make healthy choices, find excitement in your life through hobbies, social interactions, or sports.  The happier you are, the more it will impact how you connect with your partner.  Try it out….I dare you!
7. Family Time: Don’t forget to carve out time for one another and your family.  Many Americans have busy lives, but this doesn’t excuse you to neglect your partner or your family.  Set aside 30 minutes a day to focus on your partner without distractions.  Set another 30 minutes (minimum) a day for your family.  Laugh, play, and have fun!