menu
Expert Word
Welcome to the stickK Expert Word
What's Really Going On With Your Recent Graduate?
By Michael Felberbaum   View more articles by this author
  Add a Comment    |    Bookmark and Share
November 10

I hear from a lot of parents that their recent graduate or college student is not motivated or that he is just lazy.  Does it seem like your child just wants to watch TV and hang out with her friends?  Maybe at your kid’s age, you not only had a job and your own house, but were married and had 3 children.  So how do you get your “unmotivated graduate” off the couch and on the road to his life?

 

In most cases, laziness or lack of motivation is only a superficial explanation for a “failure to launch.”  Because it’s a superficial explanation, it’s not particularly useful for the purpose of understanding behavior and making real change in the life of your child.  So, from my perspective as a coach, laziness is almost never the real cause of why your recent graduate is home, waking up at noon, eating tater tots, and watching DVDs at 3pm.  It may look like laziness, but it’s probably something else.  

 

In terms of engaging recent graduates and helping them to move on, it’s important that you shift the conversation from laziness to the bigger picture. At its root, laziness is a choice: for example, your child might allow present comfort (watching tv) to outweigh financial considerations (having no job).  Sometimes that might be a really good choice, and other times it might not feel like a choice at all – it just seems automatic and part of a routine.  I find it constructive to explore why someone makes that choice, especially if they’re doing it consistently.  If your son or daughter has a real aversion to discomforts – perhaps big ones like rejection or failure – then watching TV starts to look a lot less like laziness and a lot more like avoiding failure or rejection, which is something that can be addressed.  Your child could also be depressed and lack the energy to make any changes herself.  The question is how to engage in a productive dialogue as a parent, a friend, or a coach.

 

Let’s face it, if we’re all really honest (parents and kids alike), most of us will admit that we are, to some degree, lazy.  Nearly all of us like to take a load off, put our feet up, and procrastinate tasks that are difficult or onerous.  We might be lazy about cleaning or cooking or fitness, or something else that seems like a really useless chore.  For parents worried about their child’s apparent laziness, I encourage you to create a genuine dialogue using non-threatening communication and a little benefit of the doubt.  I recognize this can be extraordinarily difficult since there may be years of entrenched patterns of behavior and lots of “baggage.” To challenge your child’s beliefs and create a new dialogue, you as a concerned parent may start the conversation like this:

 

“Dave, I see that you’ve been home for 8 months now, and you’re doing a lot of the same things you did in college: going out, watching movies, eating tater tots.  I was expecting you to find a job by this point and I haven’t seen resumes going out or interviews coming up.  I’m starting to get concerned that we might not see this situation the same way.  I know you’re not lazy, so what’s really going on?”  

 

Of course, any parent who wishes to try this approach would want to put it in their own words.  The point is to redirect the conversation from one about the child’s qualities (i.e. laziness, motivation, fear) to the big picture of expectations.  As a parent, this can be an effective way to gauge where your child is in the process and how he or she is seeing the situation.  They may respond by saying any number of things:

 

  1. I’m not finding any interesting jobs -- there are none available.
  2. I don’t know what I want to do.
  3. I am getting to it, leave me alone.
  4. Why are you always pestering me?
  5. Can we talk about this another time?

 

As a parent, the important part is to make any of these responses okay and to work with it.  In any case, simply asking an open-ended question like “I know it’s not laziness, so what’s really going on?”  tends to shift the dynamic.  The conversation has moved from an accusation of laziness to something else – a true dialogue.  From my perspective as a career coach, many recent graduates simply have too many ideas of what they might do and are unsure of where they fit in.  They are frustrated because they do not have a good “mental model” in which to think about their career.  It’s not comfortable or easy to talk through these challenges: it requires parents, friends, and others who are supportive and will take the time to listen without prejudice.  A genuine dialogue can be a great starting point for both you and your child to move forward in a new direction.

  Add a Comment    |    Bookmark and Share

Comments

Post Message
GEORGEBELLA
GEORGEBELLA
June 5, 2022, 2:03:08 AM GMT
REAL AND EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO BRING BACK EX LOVER URGENTLY. CALL OR WHATSAPP +1(424)-261-8520
I hear how people are talking about The powerful spell caster called Dr Larry in regard of how he bring back ex lover and helping them get married to their dream lover and i also contact him to help me cast a spell in regard of my ex lover whom i love so much that left me 2yrs ago, but today my ex is back to me and we are happily married with 3kids and i am so much happy for the help i found in you Dr Larry. My family and I are very much happy and we are living large now, i am grateful and appreciate your good work of spell casting. Thank you and may you live long to help people in problems. His email is assurancesolutionhom [email protected] call or whatsapp +1(424)-261-8520 We bsite: http://assur ancesolutioncenter.w ebsite2.me/  faceb ook page https://www.fa cebook.com/assurance solutionhome/
assurancesolutioho me.blogspot.com
kathorsley
kathorsley
June 4, 2022, 1:05:25 AM GMT
BEST WAY TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK. CONTACT LORD ODUME VIA: allpowerfulspellhome @gmail.com OR via his WhatsApp Number: +1(331)348-5516.
I am Kat Horsley, from United State, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my Husband return back to me, and today with all due respect I want to thank Lord Odume for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until my husband left me, I required help until I found a great spell caster, and he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my husband back in two days after the spell has been cast. Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my husband who has not called me for past 6 months now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my backbone till the rest of his life with me. Lord Odume released him up to know how much I loved and wanted him. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the happiest woman on earth, me and my husband are living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it was even before our breakup. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to Odume for the excessive work that he has done for me. Please if you are passing through any kind of problem contact this great spell caster via his WhatsApp directly: +1(331)348-5516
Email: allpowerfulspellhome @gmail.com ,https://allpowerful spellhome.blogspot.c om https://www.facebook .com/lordodume
HeatherWalt
HeatherWalt
May 1, 2022, 12:34:35 PM GMT
GET RICH WITH BLANK ATM CARD ... Whatsapp: +18033921735

I want to testify about Dark Web blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how Dark Web Cyber hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich.(dwchzone@gmail .com) I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 250,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. Dark Web is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode.

You can also contact them for the service below

* Western Union/MoneyGram Transfer Hack

* Bank Transfer Hack

* PayPal / Skrill Transfer Hack

* Crypto Mining Hack

* CashApp Transfer Hack

Email: [email protected]

Text & Call or WhatsApp: +18033921735

Visit: https://darkwebcycbe rhackers.com
HeatherWalt
HeatherWalt
May 1, 2022, 11:49:40 AM GMT
GET RICH WITH BLANK ATM CARD ... Whatsapp: +18033921735

I want to testify about Dark Web blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how Dark Web Cyber hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich.(dwchzone@gmail .com) I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 250,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. Dark Web is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode.

You can also contact them for the service below

* Western Union/MoneyGram Transfer Hack

* Bank Transfer Hack

* PayPal / Skrill Transfer Hack

* Crypto Mining Hack

* CashApp Transfer Hack

Email: [email protected]

Text & Call or WhatsApp: +18033921735

Visit: https://darkwebcycbe rhackers.com

stickK Expert Word

   Career
   Diet & Healthy Eating
   Education & Knowledge
   Exercise & Fitness
   Family & Relationships
   Green Initiatives
   Health & Lifestyle
   Money & Finance
   Sports, Hobbies & Recreation
   Weight Loss
+
Server IP 10.0.0.173
Portal Id 0
User Id 0
Unix Timestamp 1732436325
Current Timezone GMT
Server encoding: utf-8
Assets folder: https://static.stickk.com/yii-assets/dcbc9e4e
Payment Type PRODUCTION
Your feedback has been sent. Thank you!
This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Read our Privacy Policy
Loading...